It’s been awhile, so I thought I would check in and see how you’ve been. I’m a little embarrassed about just how long it’s been — but you hurt me — worse than I thought you did at the time. And it took a long time for me to get over it. And then when I did get over it, I didn’t need you anymore – or at least I thought I didn’t. Because I have new loves in my life: Blog, Business, Kindle, Cooking, Yoga. And we’ve been spending lots of time together.
But I see you on the street with other people, Running, and it bugs me. You look so happy together. And I’ve come to realize that it bugs me because I’m jealous. I want to stop them and say “hey, he’s mine!”, and I want to stop you too – I want to tell you to come back. To tell you that I miss you. I miss the way you make me feel. I miss the way you make me glow. I miss the way I’m a happier person when I’m with you. You’re like a drug.
Remember Vancouver? Remember those early mornings on the beach; those crisp mornings where we took in the mountains, and the sea, and each other – those amazing mornings where it felt as though the world belonged to just you and I? Remember last May, Running? Remember when we spent that wondrous 1 hour and 49 minutes together? (I timed it). Remember how happy we were? Remember how impressed people were with us?
But then you hurt me. And I know it’s my fault. I know I should have taken it slower – but I was grandstanding. I was so proud of our relationship, and I thought I could show it off to everyone. I went too fast for you, Running. And for that I apologize. But you didn’t have to hurt me like that.
Physically, I got better awhile ago, Running. But I’m still avoiding you. Although we’ve flirted a bit, I’m scared. I’m scared you’ll hurt me again, or we’ll grow apart, or we are too lazy to make it work. But I’ve come to realize that what scares me the most is the thought of going through the rest of my life without you. Watching you with others, reminiscing about our times together, and imagining what could have been.
So, Running, if you’ll have me, I would like to see you again. We’ll take it slowly at first. Maybe a quick group date with our old friends Asics and RunKeeper. I’d like that. I need you back in my life, Running. And I promise, this time we’ll make it work.
(P.S. Don’t fall off your chair people. It is true that I have posted two posts in two days; I’m inspired! Hopefully this inspiration will stick around for awhile!)