On losing.

Rejection sucks. A lot. One minute you are going full speed ahead thinking “Holy crap. I’m going to win this!” And the next minute: wham. “Sorry. You didn’t make the cut.”

When I learned I had not made it to the next round in Tourism Richmond’s 365 Days of Dining contest, the emotion came in waves.

The first wave was embarrassment. I’d spent the prior week facebooking, tweeting and emailing everyone I even-kinda-sorta know asking them to vote for me. To give up all their information to Offerpop (don’t forget to un-authorize them, btw). And then to vote for me the next day. And the next day. And so on. And it wasn’t only me who was doing this, my friends were telling their friends who were telling their friends who were telling their friends. My first real thought when I learned I didn’t win was “Crap. Now I need to tell everyone I failed.” And well, that’s embarrassing.

Next up—and this one is kind of surprising—relief. I was so relieved that I wasn’t going to work for someone else this year. (I’ve just spent the last 6 months talking about how I quit my job to work for myself, after all.) I was relieved that I would be able to travel this year. I was relieved that I won’t have to eat at a restaurant every single day. I was relieved that I’ll be able to live in our cute new place in Vancouver. I was relieved that we won’t need to buy a car. I was relieved that I won’t have to be on Twitter all the time. I was relieved the foodies won’t be judging me. And I’m pretty sure all this relief means that Tourism Richmond made the right choice.

But then came wave number three. Profound disappointment. It is only a year after all. And the best job ever. I would have had the opportunity to change my life, to eat copious amounts of delicious food—for free, to meet interesting people, to not worry about money, and to do something that sounds as if it is from a dream. But I didn’t get it. Someone was better suited than me. And that sucks.

As soon as she found out I didn’t make the cut, my friend Jenn called and asked if she could come over and cook me dinner (um… ok)! She arrived bearing marinated Helena Lake Ranch goat, root vegetables and fixings for salad, and impromptu Tuesday-evening dinner party ensued complete with Tempus Alba wine and Doctor Horrible watching.

And I had a lot of fun.

And I realized that I was going to be just fine.

I didn’t need the job. In fact, it would have been a distraction from pouring my heart and my soul into what I really want to be doing: building my businesses, doing something awesome, and giving my clients more than they ask.

So, expect big things of me this year, world. I’m going to deliver.

I’m also going to share delicious food and wine with my friends.

3 Replies to “On losing.”

  1. Life has a way of working out exactly how it is supposed to…you never know what opportunities now lie ahead because of this “missed” one. Looks like the lamb was amazing…I can practically smell is roasting in your photos!

    Happy weekend friend :)

  2. I think as Melissa notes, it will work out in the end. I know you must feel so disappointed but you still got a lot of votes, which means you still have a lot of people behind you for your adventures ahead :)

  3. I’m really bummed you lost – I was rooting for you and think you would have done a fantastic job! BUT it sounds like it really was for the best and like you’ll be able to look back a year from now and be glad that you were able to focus on your own projects.

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